Kiki Goes Home: PART 3

Family and Friends,

Please enjoy the conclusion of this three part series.  May God bless your adventure today, even if you find yourself trying to figure out life (your adventure) without someone you love.  -The Grimms

PART THREE: Going forward without Kiki...

We left Kiki's funeral and the car was dead. Nice. It was also roughly the temperature of the sun inside the car. After overcoming a few seconds of denial (remember the episode of dropping Lynn's toilet bowl into the outhouse?) we began to address the problem. A Pastor from the church recruited someone with jumper cables to try to help us. That didn't work. Ronal (Mission Haiti driver) was still there, and he is a mechanic, so he took a look for us. His diagnosis was a bad starter, but he also had to leave for Port and couldn't do anything else to help us. The Pastor phoned a local mechanic and asked him to come out and take a look.

We knew life without Kiki would be an adventure, but did if have to start immediately?

The group now consisted of Sue, Mdm. Dominique (MH cook), myself (Cory), Gertrude (MH orphanage director), Patchouko (MH staff), and about five members of the youth group. We found a shady place and started joking around, the standard way to deal with problems in Haiti. We didn't think to pray about the situation just yet. That would come later.

The mechanic arrived on a motorcycle and asked me to pay the driver who gave him a ride. Standard stuff. After a lot of tinkering around, he declared that he needed some other tools. We waited for his assistant to come. Actually, two assistants came, and for the next couple of hours they tried to extract the starter from the car with no success. Mike, on his way to the airport in Port-au-Prince, had assured me on the phone that it was an easy fix. Not in Haiti, I guess. They finally gave up, demanded money for their time, and left.

Next we contacted the only person we could think of in Ti-Rivier with a car who was in the area at the time (Adrien was across the country somewhere), Boss Edens, the contractor who does most of our building projects. The nice thing is that he has been in the doghouse with Pam recently and so we had a little bit of leverage. Fortunately, he was in Les Cayes at the moment and agreed to come. By this time it was mid-afternoon and we were all getting quite thirsty.

Boss Edens showed up and we attached the cars with a 10-12 foot nylon rope. Everyone else besides me piled into his car, and we started the incredibly nerve-wracking process of towing the car back through the traffic-saturated city, out into the country-side, and up the rocky hills to Ti-Rivier. The whole process took about an hour, but it seemed like a day. It might have been my least favorite hour of my life. This is where I made up for the missed prayers earlier.

With the battery not working properly I had no power-steering or power to the brakes, so both of them were continually asking me to provide the power for them. I think there were a few moments when Boss Edens forgot he was towing someone, because we were passing trucks, cars, and other motorcycles just like it was a normal drive home from Cayes. There were actually two times when a motorcycle driver passed me, paused between the bumpers of the two cars (with only 10 feet between), and then passed Boss Edens. Scary stuff. Going over the 15 or so speed bumps was no picnic, and we even snapped the rope once doing that.

In the end we made it home safely, though getting up the driveway took a couple of tries, and we could smell that his transmission wasn't too happy about the whole thing. Over the next week we installed a new battery and that didn't help, so the car is still sitting there out of commission. However, Adrien is back in town, so if we have an emergency with his help (and car) it will be easier to deal with.

So Kiki is gone now, and the adventure continues, but now it feels a little bit like we are acrobats without a safety net. Having Kiki there was a kind of mental safeguard when thinking about all the things that could happen down here at any given moment. I've always pictured that if we had a medical emergency in our family, for instance, we could hop in the car, begin driving to Port, and meet Kiki somewhere to guide us through the emergency, getting us into hospitals or whatever needed to be done. Now who would we call? Mike and Pam do have other missionary contacts around the country, so that would probably be the next best thing, and there is always the US embassy, but Kiki was our personal helper and always available in times of need.

If you want to go back and read an example of what I am talking about, and adventure where Kiki was instrumental in causing a positive outcome, check out the following post on our blog:

"An Adventurous Adventure" from October, 2010

In the end this whole story, this whole adventure is not about us, the Grimm Family. It isn't even about Mission Haiti. In fact, it isn't even about Kiki. It is about our Almighty God, who has a plan, who has a purpose for every one of us, and who will call each of home (who trust in Christ for salvation) at just the right time, and His grace will guide those of us who are left to continue. That is what this story is all about. Kiki would have agreed with that statement when he was here...how much more would he agree with it now from the perspective he is currently enjoying?

Kiki Goes Home: PART 2

Family and Friends,

Please enjoy part 2 of 3 of "Kiki Goes Home."  We are doing well in Haiti and enjoying the adventure.  God Bless!  -The Grimms

PART TWO: Kiki's Funeral

We took two vehicles to Kiki's funeral in Les Cayes, about 15 miles (but close to 40 minutes!) from our village. Mike and Pam drove the pick-up truck, jammed full of members of the youth group, and I drove the Isuzu Trooper with members of our staff. Because Mike and Pam were planning on leaving early and heading to Port for a flight later that afternoon, I warned the youth that if they went they were on their own to find a way home and would have to pay for their transportation. That didn't stop many of them from going. I planned all along to pay for them to return on tap-taps, but I didn't broadcast that ahead of time in order to thin out the crowd a bit.

We got there a little after the beginning of the 8 o'clock viewing time, and there was already a lot of activity going on. The church was packed with hundreds of people, yet the small parking lot had only twenty or so cars (one of the nice things about living in a poor country). Some ushers were quickly escorting the crowds past Kiki's casket in order to have a chance to say “farewell.” We got in line with everyone else and went to see him.

As we approached the front, where his parents were seated, there was a great deal of commotion. That would become the theme of the day. People were wailing loudly as they fanned themselves and others in the stiflingly hot church. A group of about ten brass band members were playing a sad song that echoed through the rafters. Friends were almost throwing themselves on Kiki's parents, giving hugs, weeping on their shoulders, and then being encouraged by the ushers to give someone else a chance. Behind them was Ronal, Mission Haiti's friend and trusted driver, patting the back of Kiki's Dad and fanning his mom to keep her from being overwhelmed by the heat of the day, the grief, and the well-wishers.

The funeral itself started at 9 o'clock. The brass band had continued to play as people were seated, and then they ended their share of the program by processing up and down the aisles of the huge church. The building could easily seat 2000, I would guess, and it was close to half full at the height of the event. As the musicians walked by, as a former trumpeter myself I couldn't help admiring their tired old instruments. Any high school band program in the US has thrown nicer horns in the dumpster from time to time, without a doubt, and yet they played with such skill and passion, each member deftly sounding his own part that somehow flowed together with the others.

At some point during the funeral I was thinking about how I might describe this unique event to you, our blog readers. The best thing I could come up with was this...Kiki's funeral was equal parts worship service, music festival, and Michael Jackson concert. Yes, I said Michael Jackson concert. At several points individuals were literally carried out by others as they yelled and contorted with either grief or heat exhaustion or both, I'm not sure. That reminded me of a Michael Jackson concert.

It was very worshipful, though. Let me just take you through a few of the highlights. First of all, there were something like 5 or 6 singing groups and choirs who shared a number during the first hour (thus the music festival comparison). All of them had a different style, and some of them were quite good. None of them had robes, thank goodness because of the heat, but some of them had matching shirts or at least were color coordinated. There was a man who played the roles of worship leader and MC as well. He would get up once in awhile and bridge everything together. There was a memorable moment during the singing of one hymn. The power cut off, silencing the sound system (this almost always happens in church in Haiti), and the people responded by raising their voices even higher in a beautiful, multiple part a capella.

I believe Kiki had three brothers who got up and shared something, but the highlight was when one of his young brothers, who is a doctor, gave a speech that was a kind of eulogy. The dynamics of the speak were absolutely off the charts. First of all, he took out a prepared speech and began to read it very softly and evenly. They had to turn up the mike as he read. After that he gradually began to build in volume and intensity. He also began to look less at the notes and share more from the heart. He had started in French and as the speech progressed, he used more Creole.

There was a moment about midway where he shared some funny stories about Kiki. Kiki was a very loud laugher, and would often accent the ends of sentences quite loudly and emphatically. His brother did an impersonation of Kiki, and the whole crowd (whether we really understood the words or not) had a good laugh, because it sounded just like Him! Just moments later, however, something truly electric happened. The brother said something like, “But it was never supposed to be this way...I go home and my mother is still there...my father is still there...but where is my brother Kiki?”

At that moment Kiki's brother lost it, let out a loud wail, and unabashedly buried his face in the chest of the man who was standing next to him on the platform. Cries and moans went up from dozens of women throughout the crowd, and tears fell to the floor by the thousands. The next several minutes included repetitions of these activities in varying levels of intensity. Finally the speech came down off the mountaintop and was finished and the people gave a collective sigh of relief and hunched in their seats. I myself was proud of these people and their absolute lack of shame at displaying emotion. I is truly a beautiful thing to experience.

Next came the first sermon at about 10:30 (yes, the first sermon). Thankfully it was a fairly laid-back speaker who seemed to do a good job of reassuring people of the promises of God, that those who trust Jesus for salvation and forgiveness of sins will spend eternity with Him in Heaven. Scriptures were read, assurances were given, and “Amen's” were spoken by all. The next preacher was a little bit more fiery, and by that time people were ready to exert a little more energy. He finished up, and the whole funeral was over a few minutes later.

I learned a few things from Kiki's funeral. First of all, funerals in the US are way too short. I think we do that to avoid letting it all hang out in front of everyone. There is a tension during those moments as we mix worship and grief. It is good for our souls to experience that uncomfortableness, and yet we want it over as soon as possible. Also, people get nervous and even irritated when family members share embarrassing stuff of get too emotional in the microphone. But this funeral changed my view of all that in some way. Secondly, it occurred to me to thank God that he spared Kiki in the earthquake last year and allowed his family and friends to have such a special and honoring funeral for him. If he had been buried under a pile or ruble like so many it wouldn't have been the same. Lastly, I learned that life without Kiki will be an adventure. More on that in the next post.

People stepped outside and began to surround the hearse. They processed down the street like that, a car in the middle of the crowd. Sue told me she had seen a similar thing once at a funeral in New Orleans once. As they left we headed to our car and began a new adventure...

The Long-Awaited Update, Take 2

Family and Friends,

Greetings to all of you who are so faithfully remembering us in prayers back in the US. We are finally back online and hope to update the blog regularly from now on, though of course you never know in Haiti if that will be possible from day-to-day. Please also enjoy reading “Kiki Goes Home”, which will be uploaded to the blog in three parts over the coming days. Part one can be found below this post.

We have now been back in Haiti for about 11 days or so, and we are adjusting pretty well to life down here. We would be lying if we said it has been easy, but compared to our first weeks here last year it has been much, much better. One huge blessing has been the availability of a private (or semi-private...will talk more about that in a moment) house for our family, where we recently installed a refrigerator and stove. Mike Plasier (Mission Haiti Board President) helped us get the appliances and helped Cory saw off the bottom eight inches or so of the oven for Lynn. She can now see into the pots and pans she is using for cooking! She's never lived in such luxury in all her life! 

Also, special thanks to Tori and Heather who lived in this house all summer and made a great deal of improvements including a new, lowered sink (no running water, but still nice), better screening to keep out bugs, a set up for taking lukewarm showers, and many other creative adaptations. Nice!

The journey here was a bit of an adventure. We checked in at the Sioux Falls airport as planned, and the young lady who helped Cory agreed to check our big bags all the way through to Port-au-Prince. That requires a bit of an explanation. As you may remember we had our flight changed, due to the hurricane that hit the east coast, making us arrive in Miami 12 hours and 15 minutes before our flight left for Port the following morning. According to airline policy, if the gap in time is over 12 hours we would be required to take all 10 50-pound suitcases out of baggage claim and with us to the hotel. Not fun!

So she was sympathetic to our situation and agreed to check them through. This required that she hand-write tickets on the heavy suitcases for the baggage handlers. An extra bonus was that she didn't charge us the $30 per 2^nd bag we thought we had to pay (saving us $150). We were elated! We traveled to Chicago with no problems and boarded for Miami. Though we had to circle for almost an hour upon arriving in the neighborhood of South Florida, we were still doing fine and ready to get to our hotel and order pizza.

I wanted to get our boarding passes for the next morning in order to save time, because the flight the next day was boarding around 5:30am. I stopped at a counter and asked about it, and he told us he couldn't print them because our checked bags were only checked to Miami. Ouch! So we went down to the baggage claim, and by this time everyone else in our flight had gotten their stuff and left. Ours were nowhere to be seen. A few more bags came out from our flight, and ours weren't with those either. We left the airport trusting that the bags were still in the system and would arrive in Port as expected, although the downside in this scenario is so much worse than if you were flying domestically. What would it look like if our bags full of our food and clothes didn't show up with us in Port? Would the airline drive them 6 hours out to our village? Probably not.

We had a good night at the motel. However, though we were the first people on the curb for the 4:30 shuttle in the morning, a bunch of people arrogantly walked out of the hotel doors as the small shuttle came up and jumped in ahead of our group, which of course included a woman in a wheelchair and three little kids. Believe me, if we hadn't fit (and we barely did, with Lynn's wheelchair practically on her lap), I would have personally physically ejected all of them from their seats. Probably not a good thing for a missionary to do, but it's okay to pick up a whip and make people move once in awhile, right?

We arrived at the airport and ran into a few more problems. There was a moment where I was pretty sure we were in danger of missing our flight. I had trouble with the self-serve boarding pass machines and got in line to get help. I wanted to ask about the bags, anyway. That line was absolutely not going anywhere, and we were now looking at 30 minutes until boarding, with the security check still standing between us and the gate. I jumped out of line and tried the machine again. This time it worked. We got through security quickly, scarfed a couple of expensive muffins, found out from the gate agent that the bags were good to go, and boarded the plane.

Everything went smoothly in the Port-au-Prince airport after the flight, and soon we were traveling out to the village with Mike and Pam. The kids were exhausted, which took a couple of days to get over, but we were fine, and it was a lot of fun to greet our dog, Cookie. Everyone in Ti-Rivier was happy to have us back and wanted to come and visit us. Even the familiar strangers along the streets greeted us with great passion when they saw us again for the first time. They yelled, “Mwen Blan Yo!” (My whites!)

We just finished our first week of homeschooling, Lynn has been tutoring a troubled young woman, we have already led half a dozen youth group meetings and a church service, Cory has traveled all over the region on the motorcycle, and many many more things have happened along the way. The adventure is off and running. Oh yeah, about the house being “semi-private.” Well, the high school students have to work a little bit for their school sponsorships now. This is a good thing, but we have had faces looking in our windows pretty much all day, every day for this first little while. It drives Cookie, our high-strung, overly protective, racist dog completely bananas.

We'll write more soon. Know that we are doing well, and again we say “thank-you” to everyone for everything this summer.

Enjoy Your Adventure Today!

-The Grimms

Kiki Goes Home: PART 1

Family & Friends,

Please enjoy the following three-part story about Kiki's passing.  Parts two and three will be posted soon.  We are doing great down here and blessed by God in so many ways!

PART ONE:  About Kiki and the time before and after his death

As most of you are aware, Mission Haiti's most important contact and “right-hand man” in Haiti, Kiki, passed away on Thursday, August 25^th. This blog post and the next two will share the story of Kiki's passing. Included will be the time before his death, the time before his funeral, his funeral itself, and finally the adventure that occurred and is occurring afterward. Before sharing all of those events, however, let me tell you a little bit about who Kiki was.

Kiki is actually his nickname as you might have guessed. His real name was Alexis Jean Kuislin. In Haiti they say the family (or last) name first, so in the US we would have called him Jean Kuislin Alexis. He was born on March 25, 1966, making him forty-five years old when he died.

Kiki grew up a humble country boy in rural southern Haiti, living in a few different small communities as his father was transferred to various posts as a pastor. He had a sister (who lives in the US now) and a few brothers. His father wasn't paid much for leading the church and even had to spend his days working in the fields for farmers. His mother made the bulk of their income buying and selling goods in the market. His parents were strong Christians and made sure their kids got a good education. He always thought about being a pastor when he grew up, but was never able to in a traditional sense of the word. However, as this story will surely illustrate, he did the work of a pastor in his daily life for so many people, encouraging, teaching, serving, and shepherding.

As a young man Kiki moved to Port-au-Prince and tried to make it in the big city as so many people here attempt to do each year. I only know small tidbits of how he rose to the top, but by the time he died he was quite wealthy by Haitian standards and was the point person not only for our small ministry but for a large orphanage in Port and several adoption agencies in the US, France, Canada, and Belgium. One time I called him for help on something and he said, “I'll call you right back...I'm just about to step into a meeting with the US ambassador.” He was very intelligent, and his mastery of French, Creole, and English was something to behold.

Kiki got involved with Mission Haiti and Mike and Pam way back around the beginning, over sixteen years ago. He was helping some other ministry and became close friends with Pam, helping her on her trips out to the country-side. Going out to Ti-Rivier was sort of a vacation for him, despite the fact that Pam kept him busy most of the time. I guess it was a way for him to spend a few moments with people like the simple folks he must have grown up with. He was well-respected and loved by all in our village. He was always willing to stop and talk with anyone, young and old.

Kiki was always doing the things for Mission Haiti that Americans would normally have no idea how to accomplish. He took care of filing the various paperwork with government agencies, he pushed our shipments through customs, he did our visas, he took care of our money in the bank here, and the list goes on and on. Of course Kiki will be missed as an amazing friend and irreplaceable asset for ministry. Those are the most important aspects of losing him, but the prospect of finding a suitable replacement who can be trusted to handle the ministry's business in Haiti is pretty overwhelming to think about as well.

About Kiki's personal life...he was once married to an American woman and lived for a year or so in Chicago, and they had a daughter who is thirteen now. One time at his house in Port-au-Prince I was looking around the office upstairs and stopped in my tracks at his desk. The wall was absolutely covered with snapshots of his daughter and little notes she had written. It was obvious she meant the world to him. Maybe part of his affection for children, which he always poured out on the kids in our orphanage, was an expression of the love he was never able to give his own daughter due to their separation by distance. At the time of his death he had not married again.

The week leading up to Kiki's death was a tragedy in itself. He had meetings in the US with an adoption agency, and he wasn't feeling well. He was experiencing chest pain and other pains all over his body. He was permitted to travel back to Haiti, though looking back things might have turned out differently if he just stayed there in the hospital for awhile. When he arrived in Haiti things didn't improve. He continued to feel sick, but also tried to work during the day. Then one day he was driving an American client, a woman, through Port-au-Prince. They got stopped by a man with a gun, who demanded money. Kiki gave the man his backpack with money inside. The man left and they were fine, but getting mugged jacked Kiki's stress level up even higher. He undoubtedly experienced flashbacks to the time a few years ago when he was actually kidnapped and held for ransom for several days.

After that Kiki went to see a doctor in Port and received medication that didn't really help. He talked to Pam the night before he passed away and asked for prayer. One thing Pam had called him about was trying to find an affordable refrigerator for our family (He really would do anything to help!). The next morning Pam got word that Kiki had died. She called Ronal, another man who works for us, and asked him to go over and confirm that the reports were true. They were.

Mike and Pam flew into Haiti on Sunday, the 29^th, one day before us. They met with friends and family, and then on Monday they picked us up at the airport and we all headed out to Ti-Rivier. The funeral was planned for Saturday, Sept. 3, and during the week we had several memorable meetings with the Youth Group. The group members were very sad, of course, because Kiki was their hero and a great example of how a humble country kid could grow up and do great things. Many of them shared about how important he was in their personal journey of faith.

We also spent two nights searching the Scriptures, talking about death and resurrection according to the Bible, and even praying that God would work a miracle and bring Kiki back to life. In the end we all learned a lot about how God is in control and has a plan for us, no matter how long our life is, and though we miss Kiki terribly, we also have a sense of joy knowing he is rejoicing with God in Heaven. His loud laugh can probably still be heard above the din even among the multitudes there, no doubt.

Thank the Lord today for the friends who share your adventure!
-The Grimm Family Adventurers